GRAMPA GAMING - MATCH REPORT #2

Thursday Aug 6th marked a significant date in the history of Grampa Gaming. We were about to face our most formidable opponent and learn if our first victory was beginner's luck or if we had indeed truly arrived upon the gaming scene. I can't remember our opponent's name and I am too lazy to go find it, but they are the reigning champs. Well, I think they are the reigning champs. Lets just assume they are so as to add further tension to this report. So, we were up against the reigning champs, and I was warned that these guys took it extremely seriously and tried real hard. I think you kids call it "sweaty". I soon learned that this was an accurate description as their 2v2 team began by banning egolem. These sweats had obviously scouted our first match, whereas the only scouting I had done, as team captain, was of my local Krispy Kreme doughnut outlet. Their captain then called for a few minutes to make decks. These minutes turned into hours, then days, and then weeks, or so it seemed, and as I waited, I thought to myself, "These kids sweat more than a paedophile at a Wiggles concert" Now, some of you might not recognise that word. I speak and writethe Queen's English, and that is how it is correctly spelt. If you don't believe me, look it up in an encyclopaedia, you anaemic fuck. My time is running out and this wait took me far closer to death, but finally they accepted and we were underway. In our first match, Washed Seb and Meathead Lachie played the 2v2, but we had decided to swing some changes so as to familiarise Lil' Gramps with the duo format. He was given a deck to play (behind my back, mind you) by Washed Seb, but I did not entirely minds as I was occupied at the time. The boys invited me to join in the discord call but I really wanted to know the value of some Victorian era cutlery (see pic)

After a couple of initial cycle cards, I was delighted to see our boys begin real proceedings with Royal Recruits. It turned out to be a procession despite an early onslaught on our tower by their lava. Once we had about 147 Recruits on the arena, there was only going to be one outcome. 1-0 to GG. It was at this point in time that I decided to join the discord call. Washed Seb was giving Lil' Gramps another deck to run, and I welcomed not having that responsibility as my cat, Fat Bitch, had jumped onto my bed and was looking for a belly rub. Pets > CR Game two wasn't even close. Our boys went to the air and it was akin to the Allies bombing of Dresden during WWII. With Washed Seb in full Winston Churchill mode, barking instructions to Corporal Luka, we blitzed zee Germans. First set to GG It was time for Meathead Lachie to make his 1v1 debut. I actually like this kid because of his unconventional approach to playing the game. This was demonstrated by his opening move in the first battle. Rather than the conventional Night Witch behind Egolem push, he gave it some Meathead flair.

A lesser player would have wasted that push but Meathead Lachie is a pioneer and he developed the sacrificial NW manoeuvre right in front of our eyes. It did get a little hairy at one stage, but after some exquisite defending, spam won again. 1-0 to GG. It was at this point in time that I decided I should stop petting the cat and make a contribution, so I posted a deck for Meathead to run in the clan chat. Now, some may call this insulting or BM of the opposition, but when you are dealing with sweats, it made me giggle to imagine them thinking if he was going to run it or not. Humour > Respect

Turns out it is a pretty decent deck, and Meathead Lachie, proficient in the art of Graveyard, demolished his opponent. Game, set and match to GG. I can safely say that we have now truly arrived on the scene after demolishing the nameless reigning champs.