GRAMPA GAMING MATCH REPORT, GAME #3

I decided to include a picture of myself in this match report to remind our upcoming opponents that not only am I the superior CR player, but also, at 54 years of age, that I am infinitely better looking than them. For our game #3 battle vs AL Team (what the fuck is that name? ) we decided to revert to our original line-up of Meathead and Washed Seb in the 2v2 and Lil' Gramps in the 1v1. Our preparation for the opening match of 2v2 consisted of the usual, "Grab something from TV Royale" a minute before we were due to start. Personally, I would have preferred that the boys chose decks from Legendary Arena, but they decided to delve into the creativity of Frozen Peak and came to the battle arena with Giant Skelly/Mirror/Clone. Washed Seb decided that if we mirrored and cloned enough of the big boys, this would push them onto the princess tower. I am happy to report that this strategy worked a treat (see pic below)

I am unhappy to report that we couldn't defend for shit. However, despite the 2-1 crown tower defeat, this was another glorious victory for style over substance. With their backs now firmly against the wall, like a straight man at a gay bar, our boys decided to call upon our old, reliable friend, the pink man. Holy shit, was that a bad call. Lightning, pekka and freeze destroyed our no skill dream and now the pressure was on Lil' Gramps to keep the match alive in order to try and preserve our unbeaten record. To make matters worse, our one trick wizard was up against one of the most formidable players in the world, the current global No #323, and then things got really complicated when Nado, Lil' Gramps' staple card, was banned. At that moment I thought, "I'd rather be Ghislaine Maxwell right now"

Turns out Lil' Gramps had prepared 5 golem decks all with nado, so it was back to TV Royale we went. Washed Seb, perfectly understanding the limited ability of our 1v1 specialist, quickly recommended a Giant Sparky Rage deck. "You can play this", he reassured Lil' Gramps.

My confidence suddenly picked up too, because I have watched Lil' Gramps rage up Minion Hordes for years. I knew this was the right deck choice for him. He dropped a Sparky at the back. He put a Giant in front of it. So far so good. Opponent went opposite lane with a Balloon push. "IGNORE!!!!!", we all screamed. ...and ignore he did. Now the Whores at the bridge, a quick bitch slap from their pimp made them rage, and it was game over. O My Days was left lamenting, "O My King Tower" Lil' Gramps now wanted to run a golem deck without Nado, so Washed Seb gave him one. I'm not sure if it is a real deck. I'm more inclined to think WS just said "Golem" and then rattled off the next 7 cards which came into his head. Nevertheless, life was good for LG as he had a deck to play. This was a coming of age moment for Lil' Gramps in his competitive career. He played a beautifully controlled game of CR against a tough Loon/Bomb Tower match up. The turning point came with a nice, albeit simple, Ceiling Fan prediction play on the BT.

It was all over. We were going to KOTH. The unbeaten dream remained alive. I just hope that Lil' Gramps can also come of age in the real world and maybe grow some pubes. It was time for me to finally unleash my talents on the Lets Play Live league, but then Washed Seb had a brainstorm, "I think we will play these guys in the finals, so why not hold you back, Gramps, and keep you as a secret weapon for then?" As much as I yearned to get out there and miss some lightnings because I am blind, I thought it was a great idea and the right thing to do by the team. That said, this choice did not temper my eagerness, which led to me accidentally accepting one of the battles despite not being named in the KOTH line up. It was clearly an excited accident, but LG thought differently, "Jesus you are stupid, dad" Our opponents were kind enough to accept my error and play a rematch. It was kinda the right thing to do given that their man had inadvertently selected a banned card in his deck. Okay, so obviously I'd normally detail the KOTH matches here, but I work from my recordings, not memory, as I can't even remember what I had for lunch 15 mins ago, and unfortunately I have accidentally deleted this iconic piece of Grampa Gaming footage. PLUS, I've been lazy. This game was like 12 days ago, so all I remember is me wrongfully accepting a battle and then Washed Seb finding some of his old CRL form to get us home. Oh wait, I think he was bad in CRL, so that's not a good simile. I'll try again, "so all I remember is Washed Seb finding some of his old form which made teams think he could play CRL"